Whoa, Dad!

THE DRUG TALK

I want to go on a spiritual journey and do drugs to “find myself”. My dad gives me advice on what kind of drugs I should and shouldn’t do. The best way to get your kid to never do drugs is to scare the s*** out of them. And my dads drug stories from the road will do just that. Between his friends overdosing to him getting tricked into eating weed brownies, making his so high they had to call in a new drummer, these drug horror stories may teach your kid a thing or two. 

The up side of being a distant dad is that he never had to deal with a rebellious teen getting wasted in high school. I fill him in on my drunken and high times in ninth grade to see what he would have done. Turns out his approach is scarier than I thought. 

Dad Of The Month: ANTHONY DAYO

Comedian Anthony Dayo is this months spotlight. Which is a dad who's had to face some tough situations and who's story we can learn from.  Similar to my dad and I, Dayo is a distant dad who lives in LA while his daughter lives in Philadelphia and he is doing a pretty good job at maintaining a close father daughter relationship from a far. Dayo shares what it was like having a daughter at 21, moving to LA,  juggling a comedy career with fatherhood and protecting his daughter from the cruelness of social media. Maintaining a relationship with a teenage daughter isn’t easy but Dayo has figured out creative ways to stay connected as a distant dad. 

My dad and Dayo bond over how hard it can be to talk to your kid on the phone.  The one thing they have in common is, they both believe it's important to keep the lines of communication open. Which means not coming down on their kids too hard when they do something wrong in fear of chasing them away. Dayo wants his daughter to always feel comfortable talking to him about anything and my dad, who's done a good job at that, feels the same way. There is something to be said about having that parent that you know you can talk to about embarrassing things like the way a boy is treating you or teenage drama. 

Dayo is open and honest about dealing with the dad he was dealt and I've learnt a lot from this conversation.

Follow him at https://www.instagram.com/anthonyday0/

You can support, sign up and check out our clips, unedited eps, emails, videos and basically all the things that we are too embarrassed to share and triggers Nikki's abandonment issues. 

Nikki's Instagram: @nikkibon

Whoa, Dad! Instagram: @whoadadpodcast

Whether it be advice you need, advice for us or questions you think we should ask each other, we want to hear from you ! E-mail us what you would like to hear or activity ideas whoadadpodcast@gmail.com. 

OUR HAUNTED HOUSE

Don’t believe in ghosts or aliens? You might after this episode. My dad was a tough nut to crack this time round until we get into his favorite topics: aliens, ghosts, unexplained phenomena and Bob Lezar. When I was a baby, my mom and dad moved into a haunted house. They knew it was haunted when 1 year old me would talk to “the man”. My dad dives deep into his traumatic experiences of living with a ghost and why aliens do exist. 

 

BOBBY MEETS A 5 YEAR OLD

Five year old Alo and his mom Kate, join us on this weeks episode to see if I have made any progress trying to teach my dad how to talk to children. Bobby pulls out the big guns and tries to keep the kid engaged by getting him to sing a song, asking him to identify what he is pointing to and making up rhymes on the spot.  Alo, who is probably smarter than all of us, isn’t afraid to tell my dad when he is bored. And my dad, one of the most accepting people I know, encourages his honesty. Makes me think I should have spoke my mind more as a kid.  After all, our father-daughter relationship didn't get better until I finally became more honest with him. 

Being a distant dad trying to engage with a kid on the phone  is tough and is something my dad always struggled with. Last few episodes I tried to teach him tactics and things he could have done to get me to open up. So what better way to practice these parenting skills than having having a kid on the podcast. 

The fun doesn't stop there. My dad gives Alo's mom, Kate, one of his famous fruit readings. And he is pretty spot on. Kate is a hard read but my dad, the empath he is, picks up on all of her characteristics. 

If you want more information about Kate's non-profit you can find it here 

http://eistworks.org

Want a fruit reading like Kate? All you have to do is sign up to https://www.patreon.com/nikkibon and let us know. 

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A HOLIDAY SPECIAL - PERFORMED BY BOBBY

My dad reads 'The Night Before Christmas' in the most Bobby way possible, with a groove, percussion and vocal breaks. 

Since we won't see each other on Christmas, not like we ever did, I figure why not start a father-daughter tradition and read a Christmas story every year. My dad was surprisingly enthusiastic about the idea, especially when he discovered he could turn the classic holiday tale into a hot track. 

A lot of parents sit down with their kids to read this story every Christmas eve and since we didn't spend Christmas together, my dad is reading this for the first time. Bobby comes to realize he had missed out on a lot more than just the memory. 'The Night Before Christmas' opens his eyes to "cool" terms like "the moon on the breast", gets his creative juices flowing,  and discovers a potential hook for a chorus when he reads "on dasher, on prancer, on Donder, and Blitzen". By the end of it my dad has gone from Bobby, to little drummer boy. 

Grab a cup of coco, a blanket and sit back and relax as little drummer Bobby performs 'The Night Before Christmas'. Join in if you like. 

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. And Mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutter, and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the lustre of midday to objects below, when, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came,
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid!
On, Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

 

WILL YOU BE MY DAD INSTEAD?

We are continuing on from last weeks episode "Will you be my neighbor".  My dad and I reenact our painful phone conversations in hopes that I can give him a better understanding of different ways to try and bond with me. His biggest complaint about trying to establish a stronger father-daughter relationship is that I was impossible to talk to on the phone. This time round, I paint him a better picture of the type of kid I was. My dad didn't know at the time that I was bullied by my friends and I had anxiety about people liking me. So much so that I would bring my babysitters kids bags of change so they would be nice to me. All of this worry is what made me even more closed off. And what kid feels comfortable opening up about to an adult, let alone their estranged dad, about they're insecurities and fears. Once my dad got to the root cause he gave some pretty good fatherly advice.

In order for me to understand his side, we reverse roles and I play the parent trying to crack little drummer Bobby. I realized trying to connect with your kid is actually a lot harder than it seemed. Especially if the child is closed off. Or in this instance, tells you they are bored of talking to you. Little drummer Bobby's brutal honesty has surpassed my abandonment issues and resurfaced my fear of rejection and being liked. Am I boring? 

Want to read the emails that we talk about but were too vulnerable to share on the podcast? Sign up to our patreon: https://www.patreon.com/nikkibon.  

You can support, sign up and check out our clips, unedited eps, emails, videos and basically all the things that we are too embarrassed to share and triggers Nikki's abandonment issues. 

Nikki's Instagram: @nikkibon

Whoa, Dad! Instagram: @whoadadpodcast

Whether it be advice you need, advice for us or questions you think we should ask each other, we want to hear from you ! E-mail us what you would like to hear or activity ideas whoadadpodcast@gmail.com.

WILL YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR

This week I took a step back and let my dad take the reins on this weeks episode. And it was exactly what I expected. Bobby discusses all of his favourite things that you may have already heard about: bathroom problems, joke writing, how difficult I was to talk to as a kid, police brutality and of course, his favourite, Mr.Rogers.
I try to get Bobby to role play and relive what it was like to talk to me as a child. How to really get into the childs mind. But the only way I can get him to talk to “little Nikki” is if he gets to play Mr. Rogers. Much like his reaction to my engagement, my dad quickly abandons the role of father trying to connect to his daughter and becomes father trying to warn his daughter against police.

FATHER? I'M ENGAGED

I got engaged and going to tell my distant dad the big news over the podcast. This is normally an exciting announcement for a traditional father and daughter. But I had a feeling he wasn't going to have a classic father of the bride reaction. And I was right. Bobby jumps straight to the point and asks me a very important question..."did you hear the protests in Portland".

Want to read the emails that we talk about but were too vulnerable to share on the podcast? Sign up to our patreon: https://www.patreon.com/nikkibon.  

You can support, sign up and check out our clips, unedited eps, emails, videos and basically all the things that we are too embarrassed to share and triggers Nikki's abandonment issues. 

Nikki's Instagram: @nikkibon

Whoa, Dad! Instagram: @whoadadpodcast

Whether it be advice you need, advice for us or questions you think we should ask each other, we want to hear from you ! E-mail us what you would like to hear or activity ideas whoadadpodcast@gmail.com.

DA DA? WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED?

Since Bobby left I've been feeling a little uneasy. I haven't heard from him and it seems that we have gone back to a distant relationship. It feels like the same father-daughter relationship we had before and my abandonment issues have hit a high. He hasn't called me or reached out very much since he left. And to top it all off, covid hit, I would hope that my dad would be in touch during a pandemic.  Instead of e-mailing my feelings about him being an absent dad again, I ask him face to face, well, through the podcast.

Bobby explains why he hasn't been in touch and why he didn't give a proper goodbye. Turns out his fatherly instincts kicked in on the last night when he thought he shouldn't interrupt me and my boyfriend on the couch incase we were, you know...heavy petting? Gross.

Bobby gives me advice about what to do to save money during covid but his tips almost lead to me losing my car. 

In the spirit of thanksgiving, Bobby shares his most memorable thanksgiving story from when he was a child. Warning, his thanksgiving doesn't have a happy ending. It's not the magical thanksgiving story you're probably wanting to hear. But hey, this is real life, not a Christmas movie. 

YERTLE THE TURTLE

We have only a few hours left before we say our goodbyes and Bobby heads back home. So this is the last time I’ll be able to teach him how to be a dad, in person. Before we continue our podcast and distant relationship through zoom, Bobby drops the bomb that he thinks I play the victim and I’m manipulative. I confess, I am manipulative but I only play victim in a joking manner. Being a comedian who has an absent dad, it’s hard not to heighten my abandonment issues and turn it into a comedic bit. 

We finally do the one father daughter activity Bobby has been dreading this whole time, reading me a bedtime story. Part of learning how to be a great dad is doing some of the things you don’t want to do and Bobby is accepting that’s part of fatherhood. So today, Bobby reads me Yertle the Turtle by Dr.Zeus. And don’t worry, there’s voices. 

Bobby gets passionate about the messages Yertle the Turtle provides, especially in relationship to the republican government.  This episode is more than just a bedtime story. It turns into a history lesson about Tesla, the Akashic Records and clairvoyant Edgar Cayce. And to top it all off, Bobby describes a visit from his dead dad. And I thought my dad was distant? His came back from the grave. Now that’s a good dad. 

I become doubtful about our progress when Bobby brings up calling me sexy and Mr.Rogers again. If he didn’t remember that we already covered this, how is he going to remember what I teach him about how to be a dad? I don’t think we got everything done or even that I wanted to but I am practicing patients and realize that this is going to take a lot longer than a week.

Want to read the emails that we talk about but were too vulnerable to share on the podcast? Sign up to our patreon: https://www.patreon.com/nikkibon.  

You can support, sign up and check out our clips, unedited eps, emails, videos and basically all the things that we are too embarrassed to share and triggers Nikki's abandonment issues. 

Nikki's Instagram: @nikkibon

Whoa, Dad! Instagram: @whoadadpodcast

Whether it be advice you need, advice for us or questions you think we should ask each other, we want to hear from you ! E-mail us what you would like to hear or activity ideas whoadadpodcast@gmail.com.